On episode 122 we discussed the topic of whether it is possible or advisable to maintain a friendship with an ex-partner. While some people may find it easy to be friends with an ex, others might face some significant challenges. There is no definitive answer, but there are important considerations to ponder when contemplating a friendship with an ex. To listen to full episode click here:
What motivates people to remain friends with an ex? Is it a feeling of longing for the past relationship they shared? Do they view their ex as a significant part of their personal history, making it challenging to cut all connections? Or have they truly moved on from the romantic relationship, hence believing they can maintain a friendship?
Veronique and I both agree that maintaining a friendship with an ex can be challenging, and we have our reasons for this. Essentially, it requires both parties being fully moved on from the romantic relationship. This means having no negative emotions towards each other regarding past events or actions. Is it achievable? Perhaps, but we find it to be a difficult to achieve.
For example, if you are in the dating phase and have just ended a relationship, trying to stay friends with your ex-partner will only complicate the process of moving on for both parties, especially when it is clear that breaking up is the right decision.
Moreover, if you are currently married, as Veronique and I are, it is likely that your spouses would not be comfortable with you maintaining close friendships with your exes, and you would probably feel uneasy if they did the same.
In conclusion, before contemplating rekindling a friendship with your ex, it's important to ask yourself:
Have I completely moved on?
Can I establish and maintain boundaries?
Am I pursuing this out of habit or genuine need?
After considering these questions, you can determine what is most beneficial for your own well-being, as well as for the well-being of the other person and those around you.
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Take care and keep your vibes high!
Silvia
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